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GIVE IT TO ME
Usually this is a Tumblr where my heart goes to giggle. But the girl down the street killed herself today. She hung herself in the shower. Her parent’s say it was “about a boy.” They thought the mother had a heart attack, but it was actually something called “broken heart syndrome.” I read up on this BHS: “In broken heart syndrome, a part of your heart temporarily enlarges and doesn’t pump, while the remainder of the heart functions normally or with even more forceful contractions.” Can you imagine? This mother’s pain was so great that her heart stopped pumping. She found her daughter….what must have gone through her head at that moment she found her own child lifelessly hanging from the shower rod? To know that she shall never hug her daughter again. Never hear her laugh. See her smile. Share a secret. Kiss her forehead. Brush away her tears. And what was the memory that caused her heart to stop functioning? Maybe the first time she held her in her arms? Her first bike ride. First school dance. First day of kindergarten. There is no way to express my sadness for this family. I am simply sad…which really is a lot. And in all actuality not that simple. I left a letter at the family’s door with a plate of cookies, it read:
I would like you to know things get a little easier every year. Nothing will be the same ever again and your heart will still skip a…
But things will get easier. I know I hardly talk to you and I wave at you on my way home. But I lost someone too. You receive so many tiny condolences it’s a little overwhelming. Each one is like a little squeeze of the heart and throat. People telling you how they loved your daughter, how she let them borrow this one thing or other, how she use to babysit their children, how she taught them something, “how she loved you” they’ll say…oh how she loved you. And if you’re anything like me…that one will kill you the most. You sit in your living room waiting for mourners to cry at you and bring you casseroles. And just when you thought you were done crying, your heart remembers her laugh, her smile, her touch, and it dies all over again. It’s hard. That is an understatement. Although each death is different, I somewhat understand. And as cliché as it may seem. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
So often we see on Tumblr and other sites the sadness that must be going through this person for them to want to end their life forever…but what about the family? The best friends? The boy or girl that may have loved them as they loved the one they committed suicide for? The holidays are coming, and with all the Thanksgiving turkeys, Christmas lights, and snow angles….also come more suicides So to you my Tumblr friends: please stay safe. Please stay happy. Please love one another.
1 John 3:18 “Dear children, let us not love with words or in speech, but with ACTIONS and in truth.”
While I’m eating….
After I’ve finished eating….